Fitting In

and Real Diversity

I don’t fit in!

Because I don’t fit in; I fit in!

Let me explain. I have tried over the years to make my goal to please God. I have learned that if I am to please God I am to be a lover and helper of people. God loves people and God helps people. God has their best interest at heart. If I am going to please God I must look at them the same way. I want everyone to experience the love and presence of God as I have. In fact, I want them to know and love God more than I have.

I know that God likes variety. A cursory look at nature will teach you that God loves diversity and is not interested in everyone looking and acting alike. God can handle differences and in fact encourages individualism. However, He also has put individuals in groups: marriage, family, church, work, school, government …etc.

So how do I fit in when I don’t fit in? First, let me explain why I don’t fit in. Mainly, I am not trying to fit in. My purpose is not to try to fit in. My purpose is to help the group I am in be better. One of the greatest things I have learned is not to try to emulate others. My purpose also is not to be myself. If I try to be myself, I am selfish and make it all about me. My purpose is to be better than myself; to be the best, by the grace of God, which I can be. I have a goal that is far beyond trying to make friends or be in charge. My goal is the smile and blessings of God; not only on my life but on those around me and in part on the whole world.

When I look at other members of the group, I am reminded of a few things. Everyone has good character traits and bad ones. There are three leadership skills and personality traits that will help a person to “get along” with those that are different. They are Communication, Cooperation, and Charity. Talking and getting to know people will open doors into their strengths and weaknesses. It will give a person some idea as to what makes them tick and how to make them tick efficiently. When you are looking at being a blessing and helping them succeed, it gives you the ability to minister to them. Cooperation is the ability to work with them to bring them along or at least allow them to shine. Charity is the Bible word for love in action. It is the ability to put up with them when they fail and don’t meet your standards. Charity is much better than tolerance because you can hate people and still tolerate them. If you love them, you do more than tolerate them. You seek their success and happiness.

So how do I fit in? I bring three unique things to the group. First of all, I bring experience. I have been living this life for over 60 years now. I think I have learned a few things over the years. Failures as well as successes are good teachers, if you listen and learn. Second, I bring humility. I am more interested in the group succeeding than for me to get my way. It is my desire that each individual in the group, whether in my marriage, or at work, or at church, gets as close to God as possible and finds their purpose in life. Thirdly, I have learned how to pray and seek God’s wisdom and help. I have learned that if God doesn’t bless it than it is a failure to even try. The key is to get Him involved early and often.

I fit in because I am different. I fit in because of love. I fit in because I don’t know everything, and I get good things out of the group. I also give good things to the group. I believe that this is true diversity that is profitable. It is what God intended. Fitting in is not the measure of success.

Making a difference and pleasing God is the best way to fit in even if you do not fit in!